Wronged...and Wronged Again....

I don't understand why people in my life that I get close to seem to think it's okay to just toss me aside when someone new walks into their life, or actually, when someone new walks into a mutual friend's life.  Here's my impression: "well, Jiminy Cricket has a new girlfriend so we're going to be on his side now and just see ya later, you know, every now and then when Pinocchio comes to town we'll just all hang out."  or  "oh, Mr. Magoo has a new girlfriend, um, I think I'll become best friends with her now and never answer your texts or emails or facebook messages/invites"


I don't understand what is wrong with people?  I haven't done anything to hurt or offend, yet somehow, they want to make it seem like I have.  And so, I find the radius of my circle of friends quickly shrinking, and through no fault of my own.


I never thought I'd feel so alone and abandoned in a group of friends, but I definitely did.  It's like, they could care less what I am doing, or where I'm going, or even how I feel.  And then they make limited eye contact with me as if to emphasize the fact that I'm not wanted anymore.


I am angry, and sad, and confused, and hurt, and tired.  Tired of picking up the pieces over and over.  Tired of making the effort when it is never returned.  Tired of telling myself that somewhere out there, there's at least one more person in the world that I could truly have something special with.  I guess I've reached the limit with two.  But both of them are so far away from me, and I miss them so terribly....especially on nights like these.


You know, I think I feel more lonely in a room full of people than I do when I'm at home alone, with nobody to talk to except my dog.